michelleponders

If you go back in history, polite society was considered anyone who could afford first class in anything and had prestige. Think about the Titanic and the first class. But polite society has always existed no matter what your social economic status. The process of creating a polite society is basically manners, etiquette, proper behavior, and courtesy. Let us look at what each of these mean and an example.

Manners. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines manners as a characteristic or customary mode of acting, a mode of procedure or way of acting, or social conduct or rules of conduct as shown in the prevalent customs. Basically it means behavior. A good example would be saying “please” and “thank you”. Teaching boys to open the door for girls or women. You say “excuse me” when walking in front of someone. Acting respectable towards other people and actively listening during a conversation.

Etiquette: Merriam-Webster dictionary defines etiquette as the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life. In other words, how you should behave while in public. Etiquette is usually seen when you are in court, at a fundraiser or even in church. There is etiquette for the classroom to a hospital room. Etiquette is also known as social graces.

Proper Behavior: This phase basically comes down to respect, consideration and honesty. Respect is acknowledging one’s worth and value. Consideration is thoughtfulness of how your actions effect others around you. Honesty is telling the truth and being genuine towards others. You should dress accordingly to whatever occasion you are in such as a wedding just being in public. When you are in a conversation with someone, actively listen.

Courtesy: Merriam-Webster defines courtesy as a courteous and respectful act or expression. Offering your seat on public transportation to an older person. Saying “hello” or “pardon me” when passing another person.

Now obviously, a lot of these words mingle together and therefore can carry some of the same meanings. But they each have a place in defining what creates a polite society. Children are usually taught manners and courtesy at home by their parents. Proper behavior and etiquette was also taught as children got older. There have also been classes and programs to teach young people why we should create a polite society. These classes and programs are still offered today. From text books to special schools, there has always been ways to teach social graces that lead to a polite society.

Why should we have a polite society? We must have a society that values mutual respect and considerate behavior. Polite society must have kindness and empathy. Polite society has been transformed by industrialization, urbanization, and the digital age. Industrialization helped to expand the middle class into polite society and changed how polite society had been seen for only the elite and upper class. Urbanization saw the invent of people leaving close knit rural communities to urban cities where privacy and personal space was emphasized. We are now in the digital age. Polite society and social norms are eroding due to the anonymity of the internet. Incivility has become so common that no one seems to question it.

When I was a child I learned how to behave in school, at church, when I stayed at someone’s house, at a movie theater, etc. I was taught to say “thank you” and “please” etc. I was taught that you are to dress properly and modestly in social settings. I passed those same manners, courtesies and etiquette to my children. But as I watch how people act, how people talk, how people dress, I see polite society slowly eroding away.

Now I wanted to make this post because we are living less and less in a polite society. There are areas in America where you see polite society on a fairly regular basis and that is usually in more rural areas. But when it comes to bigger cities, people become selfish, cynical, and just down right ugly in behavior towards others. Examples are rude behavior, aggressive behavior and language, poor manners, uncouth attire, and disrespect in professional settings. Uncivil behavior has become the norm and public and political figures have become more and more uncivil for the entire country, the entire world to see. I will break it down to an even simpler examples. Politicians promoting and inciting their constituents to commit violence and not respect the laws and law enforcement. The way that politicians throw around words like fascists and Nazis. They are encouraging lawlessness and spewing lies that people believe. So when people see their leaders acting foolish, it is only right to follow. People on the far-left and liberals who lean more far-left have charged the way to believing it is OK to tear up property and riot in the streets. These people believe it is OK to be loud and curse every other word. Then there are the way these folks dress. From baggy pants showing butt cracks to wearing clothes too small or barely there. Whatever happened to being classy and dressing modestly? Society is slowly loosing respect for itself. Let us face it, people have become sheep instead of independent thinkers.

It is time to bring polite society back into style. And it all starts at home. Parents must raise their children. We must get back to our Christian roots. Our leaders in our country must come back more center no matter what side of the aisle they are on and bring back the art of negotiation again. Our leaders must be respectful in public and set the precedence of proper public behavior. I am afraid we will not see real changes in society until we go back to respecting each other, being courteous to each other and just having plain old fashion manners.